History of the Bonfire
Back in the late summer of 2001, Tillietoiler announced one
night that her cancer had returned. She explained what the oncologist had told
her and said she had decided on basically no treatment. Chances were she would
survive no more than 6 months. I think that announcement was around August 27,
2001.
She was concerned her announcement would upset people and
she did not want everyone to feel ‘ down’ and glum so after sharing her news,
she then invited us to a bonfire. She encouraged all members to come toss their unsmoked cigarettes on the bonfire, along with any tobacco advertising or coupons. And so began the nightly bonfire.
Each night Tillie, aka Mary, would start the fire and invite
us to join her. In turn, we would tell how many cigs we hadn’t smoked as we
threw them on the fire. After a while we began throwing other things on the
fire, like frustrations, and credit card statements, now and then a spouse who
was irritating, coworkers and bosses and tobacco company execs! Most nights
Mary would grab a ‘comforter’ and snuggle near the bonfire and get ‘wumphy’, which was a word created from warm and comfy. There were many times she dozed off to sleep, but at some Q parties Mary ws known to grab on to the ceiling fan, hoist herself up and ride around and around!!
During the fall of 2001 Mary’s fight with cancer began to
slow her down and she sometimes asked Denise or another friend to start the
bonfire for her. In early December she moved into a nursing home for her final
days. Even then she was arranging to have her computer moved to the nursing
home so she could still log on to the Q.
She and Denise (withoutmerit) developed the idea to form a
Bonfire Brigade to help keep the bonfire started each night, when Mary could no longer do it. Denise asked Leejay,
Pepper38Mint and cwt (Carolyn) to join the Brigade. And so the Bonfire Brigade
Babes were born!!
On December 27, 2001 Mary J. Merrey, aka Tillietoiler passed away and became our very own Q-Angel. The bonfire has continued on since then.
Originally the bonfire was located in some cyber-woods near
the Q. Sometimes it would be held at a beach, but was usually held there in the woods, surrounded by darkness. When coming through the woods, it was always a welcome sight to see the bonfire burning brightly and all your friends gathered around. Mary always supplied hot dogs, hamburgers and her world-famous tea, iced or hot. We added some coolers with soft drinks in the blue cooler and beer and stronger in the red cooler. We drew strength from and offered support to each other.
When the Q upgraded its’ website on March 31, 2002 the
bonfire moved to new quarters. One of the new BBB’s, Darsha, created Q-Island
and moved the bonfire there. She added a large grill, along with a chef, the
Tiki Bar for beverages and hot tubs for relaxing. A hammock area was also
there. Pepper came up with the dancing dolphins at the beach, performing each
evening. Pepper also built The Gazebo, with the shiny dance floor so there
would be a proper place for dancing and we didn’t have to worry about sand in
our shoes. A ferry transported members from the Q over to Q-Island.
The bonfire is lit each night between 5 pm and 7 pm, Eastern time. Everyone is welcome at the bonfire, even those who have not yet quit smoking. The purpose of the bonfire is to relax, talk about your day, unload your unsmoked cigarettes into the fire, along with frustrations, etc. Gather with friends, laugh much, eat even more, toast a few marshmallows, snooze in a hammock, swim with the dolphins, soak in a hot tub and play some tunes and dance, all while imbibing in your favorite beverage from the Tiki Bar, delivered by a cabana boy or girl. Bickering or flaming should be discouraged at the bonfire, even comments about flame wars that took place earlier in the day. The bonfire is meant to be a safe haven to relieve the stress brought on by quitting smoking. Mary’s one request was to have fun, but to keep it clean.
In the beginning the Bonfire Babes covered multiple nights.
Pepper covered Monday and Friday. Carolyn took Tuesday and Wednesday, while
Denise covered Thursday. Leejay handled Saturday and Sunday. After vetoing the ‘ French Maid’ outfits,
we created our uniforms, using red flannel pajamas. A big BBB was embroidered
across the front of the pajama top. On one side of the collar was an emblem of
a mop and bucket, and on the other side an emblem of a ceiling fan. Both of
these emblems were to remind us of Mary. She said she pictured TillieToiler
like the ‘ Char Woman’ on the Carol Burnett Show. And at Q parties, The red flannel pj’s also had
bright yellow or gold flames stitched on the outside seam of each leg. Leejay’s pajamas also had flames on the seat of the pants, in memory of the time she caught her butt on fire from sitting too close to the bonfire.
As time passed more BBB’s were added. Darsha took over
Sunday night and Sunnydaz began handling Monday nights. Byronand became the
first male BBB (Bud) and hosted Wednesday night. Eventually Byron had to give
up his night so Denise covered it for a while, until Carolyn could do Wednesdays again. Then Leejay retired and ConstLady (Karen) took over Saturday
night. As BBB’s continued to come and go, Darsha asked Angel207 (Angie) to take Sunday nights. Carolyn offered Wednesday nights to Fairywinks (Narda). Pepper then asked Boldilocks (Becky) to begin alternating Friday nights with her. This worked well, so Sunny asked Csavage (Chris) to host alternate Mondays. Continuing on, Carolyn then asked eatcelery (Rhonda) to do alternate Tuesdays with her. Angie became very busy in 3D and asked Mikeswife (Brigitte), now known as Translucent to take over Sunday night. Right about the same time, Carolyn and Pepper decided it was time to retire and pass the torch on to newer members. Keithv (Keith) took over Tuesday night maybe alternating with Rhonda, and Pepper, who has been sharing Friday nights with Becky asked Bucko53, (Paula) to share the duties with Becky on alternating Fridays. Brigitte also asked all30, (Angie) to begin sharing Sunday nights. Due to carpal tunnel syndrome, Narda has relinquished Wednesday night and asked Brigitte to take over. Brigitte is currently looking for someone to work Sunday nights with Angie. And Karen decided she must give up Saturday night due to 3D constraints on her life. She asked JenniefromtheQ (Jennie) and Janadoran (Jan) to take over bonfire duties on Saturday night. Denise is the only original BBB remaining and she is still doing Thursday night’s bonfire!
BBB’s continue to come and go. Sunnydaz asked Andrea 2 to help out with Saturday nights when Janadoran and JenniefromtheQ were no longer able to host. Counsellina replaced Csavage eventually. Once Boldilocks became unable to host, she chose ionronrote to replace her. When All30 had 3D constraints that made her unable to continue to host, the Bonfire sistah’s came together as a group to seek out a replacement. In the mean time, Andrea2 did Saturday and Sunday. The BBB’s found Rexette, who accepted, and she did Sunday nights in Andrea2’s place, she had to retire due to her mother’s illness and caring for her. Rexette ended up on Tuesday nights after Luvs2ride was offered the Sunday night Bonfire ! slot. Bucko took on the Saturday night Bonfire, as well as keeping the Friday slot, when Andrea2 left. KeithV went back to school so he needed to give up Tuesday nights. He suggested Cleone, who was with us briefly. Again the Bonfire Brigade met and now Tinder takes care of the Bonfire on Wednesday nights alternating with Disneymom. Sunnydaz had been on the Brigade for a long time and needed to retire. She recommended Bitzie. Bitzie worked Monday nights with Counsellina. Upon Translucent’s retirement, the Bonfire Brigade gathered together again and offered a slot to CBevan (CB). As time went on and because of the amount of Bonfires Paula was hosting, she asked sgauthier to help out with every other Saturday night. Counsellina also developed carpal tunnel and needed to retire because of the medical condition. Rexette, taking Counsy’s place, helps out Bitzie on Monday nights in addition to her own Tuesday night duties. Seeing as how the alternating of weeks works so well, Casey70 w! as asked to assist Luvs2ride with Sunday nights. BaldGuy was asked to join the Bonfire Brigade, but 3D constraints have prevented him from committing to a particular night. Therefore, BG currently provides backup assistance as needed and when he can commit time to Bonfire duties will assume a night. Denise is the only original BBB remaining, and she is still doing Thursday night’s Bonfire! It is the Brigade’s hope that eventually there will be plenty of BBBs (at least 14) to cover every night and be able to alternate weeks. Plans are also in the works that once a month a retired BBB will return to be a guest and host a Bonfire.
The Bonfire Brigade gathered and chose another backup Bubbba Rexette recommended Paprika and the group agreed..
Sgauthier needed to retire in February due to 3d constraints in her life, Bucko53/Paula chose Gayle_C to replace Sue. At the end of February Denise Withoutmerit retired from the Brigade, we will greatly miss her and wish her the very best. The retired BBB’s (who have been organized by Luvs2ride) and ionronrote will cover Thursday nites. On March 2 Disneymom left the bonfire brigade due to issues on her job and scheduling difficulties. On April 12 Rexette gave up her Monday spot and chose Terrica to take her place. On Saturday of this same week Rexette gave up her spot and Debjg2003 took her place. Then on Sunday April 18, 2004 Casey and Luvs2ride resigned. Paprika will cover until June 6 when Casey will announce her permanent replacement. IAMWEAK is gong to replace Luvs2Ride. April19 Bitzie retired and chose emom48 to replace her. In May Debjg retired and turned her bonfire spot over to emom48. Rivendell replaced Baldguy66 who retired, a few weeks later Rivendell retired and chose Mayim8 to replace her. In June Lana2003 took Casey70’s spot on Sunday nights.
Ionronrote retired from her spot on Thursday nites and chose coolflowers/Mady to host in her place: also in June Pdogs3 was chosen to host on alt Wednesday nights with Mayim, by the brigade as a group. Then Paula/Bucko53 gave up her Saturday nite bonfire and chose Leanjax to replace her.
In July 1950 announced that ImdonePA would be helping her with the retired bbb’s coverage on alt Thursday nights.
Ok now, everyone freeze!!! Don’t move!! I think we got ignition here!! Lol, The bonfire brigade made it through a difficult time of many changes: and has emerged strong and fun loving looking into the future of holding the bonfire tradition strong, with joy and dignity for each one.
Sending out joy and laughter across the Q BRING IT ON BABES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the Bonfire history as of July, 9th 2004 as told to me by Ionronrote.
