Taking off your cloak of smoke From: healing2 on 9/16/2000 11:50:03 AM As the cloud of smoke lifts from our lives when we quit smoking so many of us sit in our wooden chair looking around the room at the blank walls wondering where we are and what we do next. It's like the smoke leaks out of a dryer vent or other small hole in the room, taking its time, leaving behind residue that needs scrubbing. Some of it is entirely hidden for months and months. We are suprised that we had yet to discover these facets of our lives that were permeated by the smell of smoke. It seems that as the layers of smoke are scrubbed away we barely recognize the room we call our lives and ourselves we call the ruler of that life. It's funny how we thought we were present for our lives and yet when we quit, we discover that not unlike the smoke we were kind of hovering around, above, and under that thing which we called living. Just as are bodies become cleansed from not smoking our lives need cleansing of tamped down emotions, unrecognized dreams, and unresolved conflict. Yes, we do have lots of work to do. Knowing where to begin, what deserves our immediate attention, and how to go about cleaning up the mess we feel we've made is a tremendous challenge. But as we sit in the barren room, the old curtains torn down and the windows bare we are but naked as the walls. We've torn off those cloaks of smoke and begun our lives again, naked as a baby. What a blessing we've given ourselves. We get to rebuild, redecorate, pick a new wardrobe, and plant a new garden. Another season of our lives is before us and unlike the baby, we can express ourselves with more insight than we ever thought possible. Something transforming happens when you dispense with something as negative as smoking. The light is turned on, the glasses sharpen the image, the ability to verbalize becomes simpler, clearer. Even though we feel overwhelmed at the magnitude of the restoration of our lives, we feel in awe that we were so unaware of its becoming rundown. How could we not have noticed that things had become such a shambles? Ah yes, the smoke blurred the lines, it made everything appear a comfortable shade of grey. Now as the vibrancy of life becomes once again apparent we want to hurry the process of reclaiming what is ours. We want to shine every crystal, polish every marble table top , and scour all the negativism of our former selves. We feel an urgency to repair damaged woodwork, paint the flaking and peeling relationships of our lives, and scour our bodies inside and out. Of course a project of this grandeur will take time but oh how anxious we are to begin. Now though it may seem daunting, this rebuilding of our lives, what a more worthwhile project? Would we choose to sit in the dark another five years, waiting for someone to pull us from the choking smoke of death? Would we cover our eyes, and hearts,and minds as life went on around us, just outside our prison walls? Would we perpetuate the false, foglike existance that years of smoking had draped around us? Nope, let's take off that cloak, put on some rubber gloves, grab a bucket and get busy.