So here ya are. A newbie out on the weekend... just mindin your own business and trying to get by, one day at a time, without taking that first puff of nicotine. It's hard. No doubt about that. And before you know it....you accidently find yourself smack dab in the middle of a full blown "Slip Party"!
You'll know the "Slip Party" by it's symptoms. It starts innocently enough. Usually it starts when someone here violates the Three Post Rule. They smoke first, and then share that sad fact with us instead of asking for help first. For the Slip Party to really get off to a good start, the relapser is almost required to minimize their actions and fail to take responsibility for their actions. There is ALWAYS a great reason. Stress. Relationships. Work problems. Money woes. Children. Parents. Dogs. Cats. People. Places. Things. The list is endless and you'll soon learn to spot the upcoming party just by the excuse given and the replies received. And its always "just one". Then they threw the whole thing away. "Just one" they plead...BUT they didn't enjoy it, it made them SICK, they DID learn their lesson, it tasted AWFUL, and they'll NEVER, ever do it again.
Whatever the reason was, the NicoDemon sees it, and takes advantage of the crack in the door big enough to get his foot in. And that's enough of an edge that the demon virtually always wins the battle. It may be an hour, a day, or a week. But once that demon foot is in the door he ALWAYS gets the rest of the demon in. Its like the proverbial camel's head under the tent.
But the victim doesn't just take themselves out. They take hostages. The next thing you know....newbies are dropping like flies. Their heads are suddenly filled with the "Maybes". Maybe I'm not an addict after all? Maybe I can take that first puff today and just get right back on the quit tomorrow? Maybe nobody will know? Maybe I'm different? Maybe I should start a separate group for people more like me since I'm so different? Maybe I can smoke because I'm pissed off about what was said here? Maybe I'll just smoke at this or that event, and then quit again next weekend, next month, or next year. Maybe I should have been on patches or gum? Maybe I should have been more prepared? Maybe The patches or gum were the problem and I shoulda gone cold turkey? Maybe I'll just smoke until this problem passes? Maybe, maybe, maybe . . .? Woulda, coulda, shoulda?
Now the ole Montana Trounut just passed 500 days without taking that first puff of nicotine. And what I have said here will likely be unpopular in the current atmosphere. And that's OK. I can handle the heat without taking that first puff. I've been around for a while and I've built up my strength. And this ain't a popularity contest. And while there are many others here with far more time than I have, I did learn a few things in my first 500 days here that I want to, that I need to, share with you. And one of those things is that Slip Parties can be dangerous to your smobriety, especially if you are new or struggling. And you should consider very carefully how you will handle them when you find yourself in attendance. You should carefully consider whether or not you wish to attend them at all. Because the simple facts are that the vast majority of good folks here quitting will fail and return to their nicotine addictions at even higher levels than they were before coming here. I don't like that sad fact, but it is a fact, and its one you should know about. Because if you are a "majority rules" kinda person....and you always "go along with the crowd"...you could be in trouble in a game with such a statistically small margin of victory. If you are counting the responses like votes in a dimpled chad election, you could be headed for trouble, because I can guarantee you the majority will be wrong in this game.
But most of you who know me also know that I don't believe much in statistics...and especially not for individuals. Our individual chances will always be either 0% or 100%. Black or white. Right or wrong. Because there is no grey area when it comes to quitting. You either IS, or you AIN'T, and which one it is will always be dependent upon one simple choice. And that choice is whether we choose to take or avoid that first puff, one day at a time. There is no such thing as a slip. You are either quit, or you have relapsed.
Do not be discouraged. There is great hope...because the solution is so simple, and it is completely within your control. But you'll need to search out the truth from the more common misunderstandings and myths. You'll need to pay attention to who you're gonna listen to. You'll need to be careful about who you hang with, at least for a while. You'll need to separate the wheat from the chaff. And if you want to stay quit, maybe you'll need to stick with the WINNERS instead of going with the crowd when these slip parties get going.
Quitting can be, and is being done every day here by addicts just like me. And for over a year here I ran like he!! when I saw the Slip Party forming because I knew I felt I wasn't strong enough to be in such slippery places. My old friend Darby Jack, now deceased, had taught me long ago that "if you hang out in the barbershop long enough, sooner or later you're GONNA get a haircut...!".
So my advice is to make your plan now. You don't have to be swayed into taking that first puff no matter how many other people you might see doing it. If you start feeling squirrely here reading slip posts, excercise your right not to open them at all, and to just stick with the WINNERS. Go read some profiles. Qmail elders. Post your own good questions.
Don't take that first puff and it is impossible to fail.
Don't take that first puff, just for today, and you'll go to bed as a WINNER tonight!
Your friend in Montana
Troutnut1
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