The smokers vow
From wendi on 01/10/1999 2:20:05 PM
To be said just before taking your first puff after having quit for any appreciable period of time

With this puff I enslave myself to a lifetime of addiction. While I can't promise to always love you, I do promise to obey every craving and support my addiction to you no matter how expensive you become.

I will let no husband or wife, no family member or friend, no doctor or any other health professional, no employer or government policy, no burns or no stench, no cough or raspy voice, no cancer or emphysema, no heart attack or stroke, no threat of loss of life or limbs, come between us.

I will smoke you forever from this day forth, for better or worse, whether richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part!

“You may now light the cigarette.”

“I now pronounce you a full-fledged smoker.”