Relapse Symptoms
found on Quitnet

For all the good and right reasons, we pay a lot of attention to newcomers. Granted, they are the primary reason we are here, but what about members with long-term smobriety?

We're taught that the seeds of relapse are found in attitudes that precede the actual picking up of that first sickerette.

While these attitudes are fairly easy to spot with new people, they seem much more difficult to detect in our friends with long-term smobriety.

Telling a new member to post and wait for 3 responses before lighting up is excellent advice. But it almost never works for those who no longer have deep cravings for nicotine, because in a subtle, insidious way, they have entered into a private period (weeks, maybe even months) of irrational thinking about their lives, work, this program, loved ones, hobbies, the government or other drivers!

In other words, a dangerous form of addiction insanity has emerged. With nothing in its path to prevent it, smoking is the natural, instinctive reaction. Fortunately, we have ways to prevent this from happening. The bond of trust we establish between each other is a powerful ally. If we see a fellow member, someone we consider a friend, having difficulties and we confront them with compassion and a willingness to listen and help in typical Quitnet Spirit, the outcome may be lifesaving. Following is a checklist of relapse symptoms we can watch for:

1. Exhaustion - Allowing oneself to become overly tired, usually associated with work addiction as an excuse for not facing personal frustrations.

2. Dishonesty - Begins with a pattern of little lies; escalated to self-delusion and making excuses for not doing what's called for.

3. Impatience - I want what I want NOW. Others aren't doing what I think they should or living the way I know is right.

4. Argumentative - No point is too small or insignificant not to be debated to the point of anger and submission.

5. Depression - All unreasonable, unaccountable despair should be exposed and discussed, not repressed: what is the "exact nature" of those feelings?

6. Frustration - Controlled anger/resentment when things don't go according to our plans. A lack of acceptance. See #3.

7. Self-pity - Feeling victimized, put-upon, used, unappreciated: convinced we are being singled out for bad luck.

8. thingyiness - Got it made. Know all there is to know. Can go anywhere, including frequent visits just to hang out at places that allow smoking.

9. Complacency - Like #8, no longer sees value of daily program, contact with other nicoholics, feels healthy, on top of the world, things are going well. Heck may even be cured!

10. Expecting too much of others - Why can't they read my mind? I've changed, what's holding them up? If they just do what I know is best for them? Leads to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated. See #6.

11. Letting up on disciplines - Allowing established habits of recovery slip out of our routines, allowing recovery to get boring and no longer stimulating for growth. Why bother?

12. Wanting too much - Setting unrealistic goals: not providing for short-term successes; placing too much value on material success, not enough on value of spiritual growth.

13. Forgetting gratitude - Because of several listed above, may lose sight of the abundant blessings in our everyday lives. Too focused on #13.

14. "It can't happen to me." - Feeling immune; forgetting what we know about the addiction and its progressive nature.

15. Omnipotence - A combination of several attitudes listed above; leads to ignoring danger signs, disregarding warnings and advice from fellow members.



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